08.25.09
Underwear
<breda> UNDEROOS, WANT: http://www.webundies.com/jwlck543129.htm
<Ahab> oh god breda
<Ahab> do not post your underwear desires in here
<munchkinwrangler> I do want some Lucky Rocketship Underpants.
<Ahab> that can only lead to tears
<Unix-Jedi> Ahab: what do you thnk this room is *for*?
<breda> those are awesome, you can’t deny it
<pdb> Do they come with a golden rope?
<Ahab> kinky
<breda> if you’re lucky
<aepilotjim> That’s funny Breda, because Alan has those exact same undies.
<Christina_LMT> Heh, Breda…didn’t *I* send you that link, lo these many moons ago?
<Ahab> DOUBLE KINKY
<breda> you DID Christina!
<Christina_LMT> Why haven’t you got them yet?!
<evil_yuri> okay, be honest… who in here wears silk undies?
<alan> not me
<breda> Mike has silk boxers he never wears
<Urso> I have, but am commando at the moment.
<Unix-Jedi> I would if I had ‘em
<Unix-Jedi> I wear a lot of under armor microfiber polyester
<pdb> tactiundies
<alan> dumbest thing ever
<Unix-Jedi> alan: what is?
<aepilotjim> you know, you wouldn’thave to worry about tactiundies if you just went tactikilt.
<Ahab> you could just freeball it
<Ahab> like I’m doing
<alan> tactical underwear? srsly?
<Christina_LMT> GAH!
<Ahab> aaaand I’m freeeeeee
<Christina_LMT> TMI, AHab!
<Unix-Jedi> Yeah, I’m out
<Ahab> freeeeeeballllliiiiiinnnnnn
<breda> LOL, ahab
<Christina_LMT> Bye, U-J!
<munchkinwrangler> Glock undies would just be a square plastic box with one-size-fits-all holes for the legs and torso. But they’d have equipment rails.
<breda> I hate that I’m now thjinking about harble’s harbles
<aepilotjim> dammit, now I have that song running through my head.
<THOTpd> tactical undies betcha they are black and have way too many accessories
<evil_yuri> bet Tom Petty never intended his song to be sung quite that way
<evil_yuri> rails
<Ahab> beretta undies would look incredibly sexy but would sometimes implode and rip hair off your sac
* THOTpd dosn’t want rails on his undies…
<alan> pass
<aepilotjim> and be overly complicated Ahab
<evil_yuri> you gotta shave if you wanna wear beretta undies
<Ahab> yeah
<Ahab> BUT THEY’D LOOK COOL
<munchkinwrangler> Hi-Point undies would be terribly bulky, and fall off your ass in tatters after a day.
<Ahab> 1911 underwear would be simple cotton boxers but painted all kinds of whizzy colors and have an extra hole in the back that SERVES NO PURPOSE
<THOTpd> and you can only take them off one way
<evil_yuri> are you sure it serves no purpose ahab?
<Ahab> yeah
<Ahab> it’ll be too high for access to the cornhole
<munchkinwrangler> And *Ed Brown* 1911 undies can only be taken off with a wrench, and lots of elbow grease.
<Ahab> “No honey, get the barrel wrench out”
<evil_yuri> Mosin Nagant undies would have a flap in front, but it would be really hard to open and hurt if you tried to use it.
<Ahab> they’d also be made out of sandpaper
<evil_yuri> lol
<pdb> Ruger undies would have warning labels all over them and three levers to push before you could pull them down
<munchkinwrangler> H&K undies would look a lot like the Glock undies, but cost three times as much.
<aepilotjim> and you’d have to open the front flap three times to drop them. For no apparent reason.
<Ahab> Sig undies would be just as expensive as the HK undies, they’d work just like the Glock undies, and would look like the Beretta undies
<pdb> Remington only sells full length underjohns in camo. Unless you’re PD, then you can get normal black ones.
<evil_yuri> hehe
<pdb> Colt black undies only work with Colt under shirts, otherwise you need an adaptor
<Ahab> smith & wesson undies are perfectly functional and fit, but if they tear you can’t buy any thread or needles for them and have to send them back to get patched up
<pdb> Taurus undies have a different design every year and none of them last more than 3 wearings before something falls off
<THOTpd> and any usefull ruger undies you have to order on goverment agency letterhead
<pdb> Barrett undies cost $8k and weigh 30lbs but turn you into a fucking stud monster
<munchkinwrangler> Kalashnikov undies would be crude as hell, but they’d withstand the worst case of diarrhea.
<pdb> Browning designed the underwear from which all of today’s underwear is derived from.
<aepilotjim> yet everyone tries to reinvent the browning undies.
<THOTpd> barrett undies are automaticly three sizes smaller (because face it you are compensating) and not available in california
<pdb> Galil undies would work like Kalashnikov undies, but no actual Israelis would wear them because they got Colt undies for free
<aepilotjim> AR undies would be made by a toy company and have thousands of dollars of aftermarket stuff to hang off of them.
<munchkinwrangler> Heh….Tec-9 undies would have the slot sideways.
<pdb> Winchester undies would be the same itchy wool undergarments they made in 1894, but they’d be made so crappy they never fit right and fall apart
<aepilotjim> Garand undies would make a distinctive “ting” everytime you dropped them.
<alan> heh
<alan> and sometimes you’d get pinched
<evil_yuri> watch out for Garand penis
<aepilotjim> lmao
* pdb cringes
<Ahab> oh god
<Ahab> garand penis
<Ahab> jesus fucking christ
<evil_yuri> damn, we should write these down
<Ahab> I’ve had M1 thumb
<Ahab> fuck you