01.31.12
Posted in Amusing Quotes at 12:47 pm by Unix-Jedi
<ChrisM-Work> fuck a duck
<Unix-Jedi> ChrisM-Work: Got duck tape?
<ChrisM-Work> nope
<Unix-Jedi> Though, technically, it’s more “molesting”, since there’s no conventional….
<rjoiner> Those wings will beat the shit out of you, if you don’t tie them down
<ChrisM-Work> I have a feather pillow
<ChrisM-Work> does that count?
<rjoiner> depends on where you insert it in the duck
<Unix-Jedi> No, that’s a fucked duck
<Unix-Jedi> actually, a plucked, fucked, duck.
<rjoiner> I thought that was when you stuck a duck in a turkey
<rjoiner> OR is that a turfuckduckin?
<rjoiner> wait, that’s when you stick a turkey in a duck…
<rjoiner> damn it! I can’t keep up with the rapid pace of perversion innovations.
<Unix-Jedi> that’s when you stick your dick in a duck that you stick in a turkey
<rjoiner> what is it called when you stick your dick in a duck while eating a turkey?
<Unix-Jedi> rjoiner: Wednesday
<rjoiner> That explains “hump” day
<rjoiner> See, it’s conversations like this that keep me from having a blog. Cause I’d cut’n’paste this one right in.
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12.27.11
Posted in Amusing Quotes at 2:49 pm by RobbAllen
<TD> hey sal, alan
<alan> Hmmmm
<alan> is it really TD?
<alan> Say something TDish to prove it
* TD is fapping
<bredamita> yep, its him
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12.01.11
Posted in Amusing Quotes at 12:16 pm by Salamander
<@pdb> goddamnit, screw you craigslist
<@pdb> why is it that people don’t want to sell shit on there?
<@pdb> I’ve emailed 10 people to buy their AV receiver, I’ve gotten ONE email back
<@pdb> and that guy stopped responding when i wanted to set up a meet
<@Salamander> I have an AV receiver I don’t need.
<@pdb> I’LL BE RIGHT OVER
Salamander left the room. (Quit: Salamander)
<@pdb> ooooh, Sal, you bastard
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11.23.11
Posted in Administration at 7:01 am by pdb
Forgot to renew the registration, sorry. Comes due same time every year, but it’s always a surprise to me.
Now say something funny.
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11.18.11
Posted in Amusing Quotes at 12:14 pm by RobbAllen
<pdb> you clearly need to take some pictures of it
<pdb> you know, posing with it
<dixie> uh huh
<dixie> and what would I be wearing in these pics?
<pdb> “wearing”?
<pdb> I’m not following you here
<pdb> you want to sell this thing or not?
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11.11.11
Posted in Amusing Quotes at 2:06 pm by RobbAllen
<rjoiner> *TV whisper voice* We secretly replaced KJ’s stash of pepsi with alan varnish. Let’s see if he notices.
* KJ hears the TV whisper voice, discards the Alan Varnish, and reaches for the backup stash.
<Roadkill> with every bottle of alan varnish you get a free shunwow!
<JayG> LMAO
<JayG> shunwow
<KJ> heh.
<rjoiner> lol
<Salamander> SHUN MORE BRIGHTLY.. WITH OXYSHUN! <HRRRK>
<JayG> DAWG I HEARD YOU LIKED SHUN SO I GOT YOU A SHUNWOW SO YOU COULD SHUN WHILE YOU’RE BEING SHUNNED
<KJ> LOL
<rjoiner> lmao
* RobbAllen picked the right time to come back into the room
* Salamander passes out #gbc logod Shungglies
<ZerCoolAFK> Here on the Home Shunning Channel…
<KJ> Shunning with Salamander!
<Roadkill> You are my shunshine! my only shunshine!
<Salamander> We only have 18 Ronco PocketShunners left folks!
* RobbAllen pulls out his sword
<SCI-FI> ShunAway: sold at fine shunbenches everywhere.
<RobbAllen> THERE CAN ONLY BE SHUN!
* KJ thinks that is the perfect theme song.
* RobbAllen lops off his own head
<Salamander> Shun Easy with the Shuninator!
<Salamander> Burn calories while you shun with the ShakeShun
<JayG> SHUNDOR
<JayG> SHUNINATE!
<Salamander> SHUNDERCATS! HO!
<SCI-FI> “They’ve taken the hobbits to Isenshun!”
:Shundermander
* Salamander is now known as Shundermander
<ZerCoolAFK> SHUNDERTWIN POWERS ACTIVATE!
<Roadkill> SHUNDERSTRUCK
<ZerCoolAFK> Man she got some shunc in her trunk!
<ZerCoolAFK> Have we jumped the shun?
<Shundermander> I’m about too..
<Shundermander> to*
<Shundermander> The path of the righteous shun is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of shunned men. Shunned is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shuns the weak through the valley of the darkness. For he is truly his brother’s shunner and the finder of shunned children. And I will shun down upon thee with great vengeance and furious shunning those
<Shundermander> who attempt to poison and shun my brothers. And you will know I am the Lord when I lay my shun upon you.
* KJ is much shunned
<ZerCoolAFK> LAY YOUR SHUN UPON ME, SHUNDERMANDER … HEAL MY LACK OF SHUN!
<RobbAllen> Obi Wan has taught you well young Shunwalker.
<KJ> This is my beloved Shun, in which I am well pleased.
:SHUN2D2
* You are now known as SHUN2D2
* SHUN2D2 plays some SHUN DMC
:Shun_of_Man
* KJ is now known as Shun_of_Man
<SHUN2D2> Where’s froglet? We need someone from the land down shunder
<JayG> This is my rifle, this is my shun. This one’s for fightin’, this one’s for fun!
<JayG> What’s the matter, maggot? Didn’t mommy and daddy give you enough attenshun?
<Shun_of_Man> and I heard as it were, the voice of Shunder. One of the four beasts saying “Come, and see”…
<Shun_of_Man> Shun not, lest ye be Shunned.
<Shundermander> Well, obviously we have a SHUNNER in Lincoln Park. He’s climbin’ in your windows, he’s shunnin’ yo people up, tryin’ to shun ‘em. So y’all need to hide your kids, hide your wife, and hide your husband cause they’re shunnin’ everybody out here.
<Shun_of_Man> Shun not, lest ye *alson* be Shunned.
<SHUN2D2> Monster truck rally this SHUNDAY SHUNDAY SHUNDAY!!!!!
<Snarky> …..
* Shundermander applies shunscreen
* Shun_of_Man puts on his shunglasses.
<Shundermander> I need a vacashun
* alan (~alan@18937A40.C3E03436.2C094200.IP) has joined #gunblogger_conspiracy
* ChanServ gives channel operator status to alan
<rjoiner> perfect timing alan
<alan> ?
<ZerCoolAFK> No, I think we’re about done with the shun.
<JayG> alan!
<JayG> thank goodness you’re here!<rjoiner> But, we hadn’t even gotten to shunderwear!
<alan> :/
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11.10.11
Posted in Amusing Quotes at 11:49 am by pdb
<RobbAtWork> Anyone else notice how most people make generalized statements?
<Spear> Nope never happens
<pdb> No, but I’ve seen about a billion people overuse hyperbole
<pdb> Ever wonder about rhetorical questions?
<theunpaidBill> That should take a while
<RobbAtWork> Dude, if I had a nickel for every time someone used a cliche, I’d be a rich man
<Spear> I just want a penny for every time someones pedantic in GBC
<Lee_TotC> That is water under the bridge RobbAtWork
<SCI-FI> Now THAT would make you a fortune…
<Spear> or for every time that someone misspells something
<SCI-FI> That’s unpossible!
<rjoiner> Spear- You’d have to carefully define pedantic, before you could claim the change.
<C-90-FL> RobbAllen, you’d be paying yourself
<rjoiner> And what if someone’sonly 1/2 pedantic, do you get full credit, or a half-penny?
<Spear> Tell you what. you can have the change
<rjoiner> By change, do you mean the fractional currancy, or the pennies themselves, which are often referred to as “change”
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11.06.11
Posted in Amusing Quotes at 11:24 pm by pdb
-!- illeix has joined #gunblogger_conspiracy
<illeix> Hello world! Will you be my friend?
<Spike> do you have food?
<redneckmp> do you come bearing hooker?
<daniels> did you bring hookers bearing food?
<illeix> I could give you the phone number to my Ex
<illeix> close enough
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11.04.11
Posted in Amusing Quotes at 12:05 pm by RobbAllen
<Roadkill> so where does one get a flame thrower?
<ZerCool> Well, when a can of gasoline and a bicycle pump love each other very much…
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09.13.11
Posted in Amusing Quotes at 8:44 pm by pdb
<Salamander> Pdb, you’ll appreciate this.
<Salamander> Earlier I saw two bum by the dumpster hitting each other with pieces of cardboard.
<Salamander> I wondered if they were having a pillow fight.
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08.18.11
Posted in Amusing Quotes at 7:20 pm by pdb
<aepilotjim> what?
<FarmDad> when?
<Salamander> whore?
<Salamander> where*
<Salamander> damnit
* Salamander takes a time out.
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08.11.11
Posted in Amusing Quotes at 8:55 am by pdb
<pdb> http://www.aimsurplus.com/product.aspx?item=AG9FMJ124&name=Aguila+9mm+124grn+FMJ+50rd+box&groupid=46
<pdb> is this stuff any good?
<pdb> I’m suspicious about ammunition that originates in countries where I wouldn’t drink the tap water
<caleb_> I had a bunch of Augila .45 that ran just fine
<caleb_> it’s kinda dirty, but what do you expect from Mexicans?
<caleb_> OH HA
<RobbAtWork> I expect dirty ammo but GORGEOUS front lawns
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08.09.11
Posted in Amusing Quotes at 1:44 pm by RobbAllen
<JP_> I had to learn all about the female color spectrum when I worked at home depot
* RobbAtWork read that as the female color speculum
<RobbAtWork> And I was like “Whoa! They come in fashionable colors now? Need to get a replacement for my beige, plastic one”
<JP_> I thought they were stainless or clear plastic
<SCI-FI> Why does RobbAtWork have a beige plastic speculum….?
<aepilotjim> I would have at least gotten a stainless one Robb… because, you know, the stains…..
<Salamander> I still have nightmares about the bloody stainless steel speculums.
<SCI-FI> …
<JP_> Sal?
<JP_> lol
<SCI-FI> Wha?
<RobbAtWork> Hey, I was on a budget. You get what you can afford
<JP_> on a budget, with a little bit of ingenuity you can make a speculum out of plastic salad tongs
<SCI-FI> RobbAtWork has his freelance gynecologist set up in his house
<RobbAtWork> Hey, the discount breast exams are lucrative. Granted, the excess Kleenex costs are eating up any profits
<SCI-FI> LOL
<JP_> heh
<dixie> OMG
<dixie> YOU GUYS
<JP_> ?
<aepilotjim> care for more brain bleach Dixie? I’m running a special
<JP_> does the brain bleach come in a purple jug, Jim?
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07.26.11
Posted in Amusing Quotes at 7:42 pm by pdb
<Salamander> msg NickServ IDENTIFY imaprettypony
<Awelowynt> wow
<Awelowynt> We have the same password…
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07.17.11
Posted in Amusing Quotes at 10:29 pm by pdb
<aepilotjim> That was my plan if I was ever gonna crash in a helicopter. I was gonna shove the collective up my ass. Just to give the crash investigation crew something to talk about.
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07.12.11
Posted in Amusing Quotes at 9:28 pm by pdb
<Salamander> I just turned off auto brightness on the iPhone
<Salamander> This is a game changer fucks
<Salamander> Err folks
<TomcatTCH> hu?
<aepilotjim> lol, Sal…
<Salamander> I can see!
-!- Unix-Jedi changed the topic of #gunblogger_conspiracy to: <Salamander> This is a game changer fucks
<aepilotjim> does your autocorrect usually go straight to the swearing?
<Unix-Jedi> Jim: it’s a heuristic that picks it up as you type more
<aepilotjim> Sal’s iPhone has anger issues
<cybrus> Heh
<Salamander> No usually be genetalia is first.
<Salamander> It’s
<aepilotjim> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qqXi8WmQ_WM
<Salamander> Brb
<Salamander> Here I am.
<cybrus> Whew – was afraid you got lost
* Salamander aced his annual review
<cybrus> Sweet
<pdb> this is your brain on iphone
<Salamander> Today
<Salamander> Thank You peanut butter
<Salamander> Aww Rick you!
<Salamander> fuck I say !
<cybrus> I did so good on my review, they punished – er – promoted me to managing the whole department…
<Salamander> FUCKEST THOU
<aepilotjim> JESUS CAKE Sal!
<Salamander> Goddamn iPhone
<TomcatTCH> I bite my thumb at you Salamander
<cybrus> iTourettes?
<Salamander> dam
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05.24.11
Posted in Amusing Quotes at 1:52 pm by RobbAllen
<RobbAllen> Yeah, in Rand’s universe, there is no place for people like me. Hardworking, but not brilliant and able to extract electricity from my semen
<Stingray> He missed da plane.
<Tango> RobbAllen: LOL OMG. Quote of the day.
<Gudis_> sorry Jay, I’ve never seen Fantasy Island
<dixie> wait, you can get electricity from your semen?
<RobbAllen> I can’t. Hence I’m not viable in Rand’s utopia
<Gudis_> I’m pretty sure it’s electrolytic
<RobbAllen> hell, you can’t extract sperm from my semen as it is
<Salamander> I’ve made sparks fly before.
<Gudis_> you just need to get a stadium full of guys to bukkake in an empty lead-acid battery
<JayG> I’m told mine tastes like chocolate
<JayG> …
<JayG> just sayin’
<Tango> Salamander lost at “Don’t wizz on the electric fence”
<Salamander> Actually, I did Tango.
<Tango> hahahahaha
<Tango> Ren & Stimpy
<JayG> you… EEEEEEEEEDIOT!
<RobbAllen> Whiz != manspunk. Salamander, if you’ve actually dumped baby batter on an electric fence, well then, my esitmation of you just went sky high
* RobbAllen just had an idea for a porn theme – Steamspunk
<Stingray> Unless you’re slingin’ major rope, and/or right down at wire level I can’t see painting the wire doing too much. The lack of continutity between squirts would break the circuit.
<YBRH> lmao
<Stingray> And I do have an electric fence in my yard. Just sayin’.
<RobbAllen> They call me ‘Teaspoon Allen’ so… Stingray is right…
<Stingray> Plus, you could have the range and still not get zapped if you got lucky with timing and landed it right between pulses. There’d be a viable circuit, but gravity would likely break it by the time the next pulse came through.
<Stingray> That’d be a tricky one to pull off though.
<Gudis_> best to just play it safe and jizz on a stun gun
<Stingray> Yeah, that’s a much simpler proposition.
<Stingray> Fewer insects, too.
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05.02.11
Posted in Amusing Quotes at 9:32 pm by Unix-Jedi
<Marko_TMW> I’ve been gorging on Intertubes since we got DSL. IRC, Skype, World of Warcraft…
<Joat1> Marko_TMW, how has the DSL affected you writing output?
<Marko_TMW> Not very much. I don’t write on a machine that’s connected to the Tubes.
<Marko_TMW> But the porn just frickin’ FLIES now.
<JRebel> thats the main thing
<DB_IceCream> downloading boobs one pixel at a time does suck
<pdb> lol dial-up porn
<TD> remember uudecoding usenet porn?
<Marko_TMW> You kids. Back in the early 1990s, we had ASCII porn.
<pdb> remember downloading the contact sheet first, then downloading only the pics you wanted?
<Bob_S> TD, yes I do.
<JRebel> specially when its flash based
<TD> heheh
<pdb> right click, save as
<Marko_TMW> Heh. Batch uudecoding usenet binary extractors.
<TD> actually, I still have a usenet provider account
<DB_IceCream> never had to do that. There was a surprising amount of porn on government high speed networks in the early 1990′s
<Bob_S> 2400 baud modems
<Marko_TMW> We came by our porn the hard way, dammit.
<pdb> I remember the first time I got all the tools to download and unencode stuff, then I went ahead and downloaded a test image from alt.binaries.pictures.erotica with the title “the goddess”
<pdb> ….and it was a portriat of ronald regan
<pdb> swear to god
<TD> LOL
<TD> well? did it get you off?
<pdb> no, I was a liberal back then
* Unix-Jedi has changed the topic to: <pdb> I remember the first time I got all the tools to download and unencode stuff, then I downloaded from alt.binaries.pictures.erotica with the title “the goddess”….and it was a portriat of ronald reagan || <TD> well? did it get you off? || <pdb> no, I was a liberal back then
<pdb> lol
<SCI-FI> Heh
<pdb> just put it on the blog, damnit
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04.03.11
Posted in Amusing Quotes at 1:07 pm by pdb
<Spear> pdb, this is the second time we’ve had a conversation about ARs and neither on of us has called the other a name, what is wrong with us
<pdb> shit
<pdb> We’re doing something wrong
<Spear> Clearly
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